How to Get Along With Your New Student Housemates

Moving into student accommodation is one of the biggest changes that comes with university life.

One minute you might be living at home with your family, and the next you are sharing a kitchen, bathroom and living space with people you only met a few days ago.

For some students, housemates quickly become close friends. For others, the relationship is more about learning how to live together peacefully. Both are completely normal.

Whether you are moving into halls at the University of Birmingham, sharing a house near Cardiff University or starting your first year at Nottingham Trent University, getting along with new housemates usually comes down to communication, consideration and dealing with small issues before they turn into much bigger ones.

Here are some of the main areas worth talking about early on.

Talk About Cleaning Before the Kitchen Becomes a Disaster

Cleaning is probably one of the most common sources of tension in shared student accommodation.

Everyone has a different idea of what “clean” means. One person might wash their plate immediately after eating, while someone else is perfectly comfortable leaving dishes beside the sink until tomorrow.

Neither person necessarily thinks they are being unreasonable.

The easiest approach is to have a casual conversation about cleaning within the first few days of living together. You do not necessarily need a complicated rota, but it can help to agree on some basic expectations.

For example, everyone could agree to wash their own dishes, take turns emptying bins and rotate responsibility for cleaning shared areas such as the kitchen and bathroom.

If your student house has five or six people living in it, even a basic cleaning system can prevent one person from feeling like they are doing everything.

Just remember that cleaning rotas only work if everyone actually follows them.

Be Considerate About Noise

University accommodation is rarely silent, and nobody should expect it to be.

There will be music, conversations, people cooking late at night and housemates coming home after nights out. However, there is a difference between normal shared-house noise and regularly keeping everyone awake.

It is worth finding out everyone’s schedule.

A student studying medicine at the University of Leicester, for example, might have early placements, while another housemate could have lectures starting much later in the day.

You do not have to live silently, but being aware of each other’s routines makes a huge difference.

If you are planning a party or having friends over, let your housemates know beforehand. Equally, if someone’s music is regularly keeping you awake, mention it early rather than quietly becoming more annoyed every night.

A polite conversation is usually far easier than an argument three weeks later.

Decide How Shared Food Is Going to Work

Food can become surprisingly complicated in student houses.

Are the milk, bread and butter shared? What about cooking oil? Sauces? Coffee? Toilet roll?

There is no single correct system.

Some student houses share basic items and take turns buying replacements. Others keep absolutely everything separate. Many use a mixture of both.

Whatever you choose, make it clear.

Taking someone’s food without asking might seem minor, but repeated incidents can quickly become frustrating, particularly when everyone is trying to manage a student budget.

If something is clearly somebody else’s, ask before using it.

And if you finish the shared milk at midnight, replacing it the next morning is usually a good way to stay popular.

Respect People’s Boundaries Around Guests

Having friends, partners and course mates visiting is part of university life.

Problems usually appear when occasional visitors slowly become unofficial additional housemates.

If your partner stays over once or twice a week, your housemates might not care at all. If they are staying five nights a week, cooking in the kitchen every evening and using the shower every morning, people may understandably start feeling differently.

Be considerate and communicate.

If you are planning to have several people around, tell your housemates first. It is especially important if people are staying overnight or you are planning a gathering that could be noisy.

The same applies to everyone’s personal space.

Bedrooms should generally be treated as private unless somebody has invited you in. Knocking before entering might sound obvious, but small boundaries like this make shared living far more comfortable.

Bathroom Etiquette Matters More Than You Think

If several students are sharing one bathroom, organisation becomes important surprisingly quickly.

Morning lectures can create a rush, particularly if everyone needs to leave at roughly the same time.

Being aware of how long you spend in the bathroom can help.

A 45-minute shower at 8am might not bother anyone on Saturday, but it could cause serious frustration on a Monday morning when three people have 9am lectures.

Keeping the bathroom reasonably tidy also matters.

Remove your clothes, empty shampoo bottles and towels rather than leaving everything behind for someone else to deal with.

If you regularly notice the toilet roll is empty, replacing it takes about ten seconds and will probably be appreciated more than you realise.

Sort Out Bills Early

Bills are another area where misunderstandings can easily cause tension.

If you are living in bills-inclusive student accommodation, things may be fairly straightforward. However, students living in private rented houses may need to manage electricity, gas, water, broadband and other household costs themselves.

Agree early on how bills will be divided and who is responsible for paying them.

Apps and shared spreadsheets can make tracking expenses much easier, particularly when several people are contributing.

Avoid allowing one housemate to constantly pay for everything and chase everyone else afterwards.

Pay people promptly.

Nobody enjoys repeatedly sending messages asking for £18.74 towards the electricity bill.

Full-time students are normally exempt from council tax, although households should make sure the relevant local authority has the correct student details. Students living with non-students may also encounter different arrangements, so it is worth checking rather than assuming.

Remember That Everyone Has Different Habits

One of the biggest adjustments to shared student living is realising that not everyone grew up doing things the same way.

People cook differently, socialise differently and have different routines.

Some people will happily sit in the kitchen chatting for hours. Others might spend more time in their room and prefer having more personal space.

Neither approach means somebody is unfriendly.

Your housemates may also come from completely different parts of the United Kingdom or different countries altogether.

At universities such as Manchester, Leeds, Bristol and Warwick, students can find themselves sharing accommodation with people from a huge range of backgrounds and cultures.

Being curious and respectful about those differences can make living together much more enjoyable.

You might even discover new food, traditions, music or ways of doing things along the way.

Do Not Let Small Problems Build Up

One of the worst things you can do in a shared house is quietly collect grievances.

Someone leaves dishes out on Monday.

Then they use your milk on Wednesday.

Then they play music loudly on Thursday night.

By Sunday, something completely minor happens and suddenly there is a huge argument about everything from the past week.

Addressing problems politely when they first appear is usually much easier.

You do not need to turn everything into a formal house meeting.

Sometimes a simple conversation such as, “Would you mind washing the pans after you use them? I needed one earlier and they were all dirty,” is enough.

Focus on the behaviour rather than attacking the person.

There is a big difference between saying someone left the kitchen messy and telling them they are a messy person.

Have the Occasional House Meeting

It might sound slightly formal, but a quick house meeting every now and again can genuinely help.

It does not need minutes, agendas and a PowerPoint presentation.

Ten minutes around the kitchen table can be enough to talk about cleaning, bills, upcoming parties or anything else affecting the household.

It also gives quieter housemates an opportunity to raise something they might otherwise avoid mentioning.

If your accommodation is managed by a university or student accommodation provider, there may also be support available if disagreements become difficult to resolve independently.

Make an Effort to Do Things Together

You do not have to become best friends with your housemates, but making a small effort socially can make the house feel much more relaxed.

Cook dinner together occasionally.

Watch a film.

Go for a drink.

Explore the local area.

Even something as simple as ordering a takeaway together after lectures can help people get to know each other.

Living with people becomes much easier when everyone sees each other as individuals rather than simply the person who keeps leaving pasta in the kitchen sink.

At the same time, nobody should feel pressured to participate in everything. Some students need more downtime than others, particularly during busy periods of university.

Respect Goes Further Than Having Loads of Rules

Successful student houses rarely work because they have dozens of rules stuck to the fridge.

They work because people think about how their actions affect everyone else.

Wash the pan after using it. Turn the music down if someone has an early lecture. Replace something if you finish it. Ask before inviting ten people over. Pay your share of the bills on time.

None of these things are particularly complicated, but together they can make shared living much easier.

Give Everyone Time to Adjust

The first few weeks of university can feel intense.

People are dealing with new courses, unfamiliar surroundings, new friendships, finances and being away from home, often all at the same time.

Your housemates might be nervous, homesick, overwhelmed or simply tired.

Relationships can also take time to develop.

You might not instantly click with everyone during Freshers’ Week, only to become much closer a few months later.

The best approach is usually to communicate, be considerate and give people a little space when they need it.

Living with new people is a learning experience, but it can also become one of the most memorable parts of university life. A good student house does not have to be perfect. It simply needs people who are willing to respect each other, talk when something is bothering them and occasionally remember whose turn it is to take the bins out.